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Individual Well-being

Apologize where necessary Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Apologize where necessary

Some people seem to think that an apology is an admission of guilt or even of negligence and are therefore very careful not to utter the word ‘sorry’. This is very unfortunate, as saying sorry can defuse a tense situation, while not saying sorry when an apology could have helped a great deal can inflame a situation quite significantly. But often it isn’t a deliberate strategy to withhold an apology; it’s simply a matter of allowing work pressures to distract us to the extent that we lose sight of basic manners. Our own pressures stop us from seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view and thereby prevent us from taking their feelings into account. A classic example…
Dr Neil Thompson
December 9, 2025
Set out your stall Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Set out your stall

If you are skillful at engaging with people and winning their trust, convincing them that you are a helpful and reliable person there is a danger that they will come to rely on you more and more and bring more and more of their problems and concerns to you. This can easily lead to you being overloaded, stretching yourself too thinly and potentially getting yourself into difficulties. So, it is important to be clear about what we can help with and what we can’t – to ‘set out our stall’, as it were. If we lose sight of the boundaries of our role and become a general helper, it can be confusing all round. It can also prove stressful, as…
Dr Neil Thompson
October 28, 2025
Don’t be a rescuer Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Don’t be a rescuer

In conflict situations it is not uncommon for one or more parties to feel that they are being persecuted, that they are being treated unfairly. This is often due to the conflict concerned revolving around different perceptions of the situation. For example, where there are two people in conflict it is very common for each to perceive the other as being ‘difficult’ or ‘awkward’ – that is, each seeing the situation in personal, rather than interpersonal, terms. Where this occurs the result can be what is known as the ‘drama triangle’. This is where one person in the conflict (who plays the role of victim) draws in a third party to seek support (to be a rescuer) against the other…
Dr Neil Thompson
September 30, 2025
Failure is part of success Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Failure is part of success

We tend to see failure as the opposite of success. But this simplistic way of viewing failure hides some very complex issues. It is more accurate and realistic to think of failure as part of success. A one hundred per cent success rate in any significant project is relatively rare. Most of the time, success encompasses failure. Sometimes, it is failing at one thing that enables us to succeed at something else – for example, by seeing where we have been going wrong, what assumptions we have been making that need to change. Furthermore, fear of failure can be a major obstacle to innovation, to a balanced approach to risk and to learning. And, let’s be clear about it, we…
Dr Neil Thompson
September 3, 2025
Avoid rumination Individual Well-beingUncategorizedWorkplace Well-being

Avoid rumination

When we experience powerful negative emotions, such as when we are grieving, upset, angry or disappointed, they can dominate our thinking for a while. We find it difficult to push them to the back of our mind and try to get past them. But normally we will do so sooner or later. However, what can happen sometimes is that we get locked into a cycle of negativity. We can ‘ruminate’. This means that we go over and over things in our mind; we find it difficult to stop coming back to what has hurt us. This is to be expected in the early aftermath of a difficult experience, but it can continue for weeks, months or even years, constantly sapping…
Dr Neil Thompson
August 19, 2025
Use reframing Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Use reframing

We all see the world in different ways, so my perspective may be different from yours. But what also happens is that people become comfortable with their way of seeing the world and can be reluctant to change it, even if such a change could actually improve their situation. ‘Reframing’ is the highly skilled process of helping someone see their situation from a different, more positive and empowering perspective. For example, if someone applies for a job, is interviewed but does not get the job, they may come to the conclusion that they were not good enough for that job and may be dissuaded from applying for similar jobs in future. However, helping them to see the situation differently (that…
Dr Neil Thompson
August 4, 2025
Recognize warning signs of aggression and potential violence Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Recognize warning signs of aggression and potential violence

There are some obvious signs of aggression and potential violence, such as reddening of the face, threatening gestures and so on. However, it is important to realize that there are many other, more subtle clues that can alert us to the potential for aggression and violence. In situations where we anticipate someone may become aggressive (where we have to deny their request, for example), we need to be using our nonverbal communication skills and watching carefully for signs that tension is growing. There is often an escalation. For example, it may start with something quite minor and normally imperceptible (drumming of fingers, moving about uneasily in their seat and so on). There are things we can do to minimize the…
Dr Neil Thompson
July 21, 2025
Don’t take it personally Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Don’t take it personally

In the people professions we will often come across people who are distressed, agitated or otherwise in a bad place. Often this will result in their being unkind or worse towards others, including ourselves – even though we may be doing our best to help and support them. They may swear at us, insult us or even physically attack us. Now, while such behaviour is not acceptable and should therefore not be condoned, we should also recognize that we would be wise not to take such matters personally. It is much more likely that they are taking their frustrations out on the role we occupy or the organization we represent or, ironically, may be venting their dismay and/or wrath in…
Dr Neil Thompson
June 10, 2025
Respect cultural differences Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Respect cultural differences

The idea of cultural sensitivity is now a well-established one, but my experience has taught me that many people do not fully understand the implications of that. For example, many times I have come across people who assume that it applies only when dealing with somebody whose skin colour is different from one’s own. In reality, it is much more complex than this, as there will generally be cultural differences that relate to class, region, profession or vocation, linguistic group and so on. Culture is a much broader and more inclusive concept than it is generally given credit for. Our own cultural backgrounds and experiences will have been a profound influence on who we are (our identity), our sense of…
Dr Neil Thompson
April 30, 2025
Try garfinkeling Individual Well-being

Try garfinkeling

Harold Garfinkel made a name for himself as a sociologist by changing certain aspects of a social situation and seeing what the consequences would be. In this way, he was able to identify implicit social rules by breaking them. This process became known as Garfinkeling. An example would be to change the gender of a person in a certain situation (in order to highlight the gender role assumptions being made) and seeing what difference that makes. Changing age group can also be enlightening in terms of highlighting ageist assumptions. For example, I once came across a geriatrician who would challenge ageist statements by saying: ‘Would you have made that comment if this person had been 30 years younger?’. Garfinkeling, then,…
Dr Neil Thompson
April 1, 2025