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Individual Well-being

Manage your own learning Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Manage your own learning

It is now increasingly being appreciated that self-directed learning is the most effective form of learning. That is, if we are able to identify for ourselves what we want or need to learn and how we are going to learn it, we are likely to be more motivated and the learning gained will be more suited to our own specific needs. Unfortunately, though, many people adopt a passive approach to learning – they assume that it is someone else’s job to take the lead, an ‘expert’ in learning like a teacher, tutor, trainer or mentor. Of course, such people can be very helpful as guides, advisers, sources of encouragement, support and ideas, but the more control we have over our…
Dr Neil Thompson
March 10, 2026
Be prepared for meetings Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Be prepared for meetings

I have run very many training courses where I have asked the group: ‘How many of you prepare for meetings so that you are better equipped to get the best results from the time you are putting in?’. It is very rare for the majority of responses to be in the affirmative and quite often it is as 10% or so of the group. And yet, if you think about it, many people spend a great deal of time in meetings, much of which can be wasted, unproductive (if not counterproductive) time if it is not focused enough. It can therefore be helpful to do some pre-meeting preparation by asking yourself: (i) What do I want out of this meeting?;…
Dr Neil Thompson
February 24, 2026
Tune in to grief Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Tune in to grief

The idea that ‘grief is the price we pay for love’ is a longstanding one. When we love (a person, a thing, a job or whatever) we may make an emotional commitment or investment (‘cathexis’, to use the technical term). When we lose who or what we have invested in we feel the emptiness of the emotional void that has been created by that loss. This can affect us at different levels (physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually) and can have a hugely powerful impact on our lives. Some people make the mistake of assuming that grief applies only to death, but, of course, it can arise as a result of any significant loss. If we make the mistake of…
Dr Neil Thompson
February 10, 2026
Fail to plan and plan to fail Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Fail to plan and plan to fail

This is one of those tips that sounds so obvious and straightforward and yet is one that is so badly needed, given how often people seem to manage to get themselves into difficulties by either not planning at all or not planning fully enough. In working with people there are so many unpredictable variables but there is also much that can be anticipated if we take the trouble to think ahead and draw on our professional knowledge in the process. There is a great irony that people often say they are too busy to plan, whereas in reality it is more likely to be the case that a lack of planning could well be part of the reason why they…
Dr Neil Thompson
January 14, 2026
Apologize where necessary Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Apologize where necessary

Some people seem to think that an apology is an admission of guilt or even of negligence and are therefore very careful not to utter the word ‘sorry’. This is very unfortunate, as saying sorry can defuse a tense situation, while not saying sorry when an apology could have helped a great deal can inflame a situation quite significantly. But often it isn’t a deliberate strategy to withhold an apology; it’s simply a matter of allowing work pressures to distract us to the extent that we lose sight of basic manners. Our own pressures stop us from seeing the situation from the other person’s point of view and thereby prevent us from taking their feelings into account. A classic example…
Dr Neil Thompson
December 9, 2025
Set out your stall Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Set out your stall

If you are skillful at engaging with people and winning their trust, convincing them that you are a helpful and reliable person there is a danger that they will come to rely on you more and more and bring more and more of their problems and concerns to you. This can easily lead to you being overloaded, stretching yourself too thinly and potentially getting yourself into difficulties. So, it is important to be clear about what we can help with and what we can’t – to ‘set out our stall’, as it were. If we lose sight of the boundaries of our role and become a general helper, it can be confusing all round. It can also prove stressful, as…
Dr Neil Thompson
October 28, 2025
Don’t be a rescuer Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Don’t be a rescuer

In conflict situations it is not uncommon for one or more parties to feel that they are being persecuted, that they are being treated unfairly. This is often due to the conflict concerned revolving around different perceptions of the situation. For example, where there are two people in conflict it is very common for each to perceive the other as being ‘difficult’ or ‘awkward’ – that is, each seeing the situation in personal, rather than interpersonal, terms. Where this occurs the result can be what is known as the ‘drama triangle’. This is where one person in the conflict (who plays the role of victim) draws in a third party to seek support (to be a rescuer) against the other…
Dr Neil Thompson
September 30, 2025
Failure is part of success Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Failure is part of success

We tend to see failure as the opposite of success. But this simplistic way of viewing failure hides some very complex issues. It is more accurate and realistic to think of failure as part of success. A one hundred per cent success rate in any significant project is relatively rare. Most of the time, success encompasses failure. Sometimes, it is failing at one thing that enables us to succeed at something else – for example, by seeing where we have been going wrong, what assumptions we have been making that need to change. Furthermore, fear of failure can be a major obstacle to innovation, to a balanced approach to risk and to learning. And, let’s be clear about it, we…
Dr Neil Thompson
September 3, 2025
Avoid rumination Individual Well-beingUncategorizedWorkplace Well-being

Avoid rumination

When we experience powerful negative emotions, such as when we are grieving, upset, angry or disappointed, they can dominate our thinking for a while. We find it difficult to push them to the back of our mind and try to get past them. But normally we will do so sooner or later. However, what can happen sometimes is that we get locked into a cycle of negativity. We can ‘ruminate’. This means that we go over and over things in our mind; we find it difficult to stop coming back to what has hurt us. This is to be expected in the early aftermath of a difficult experience, but it can continue for weeks, months or even years, constantly sapping…
Dr Neil Thompson
August 19, 2025
Use reframing Individual Well-beingWorkplace Well-being

Use reframing

We all see the world in different ways, so my perspective may be different from yours. But what also happens is that people become comfortable with their way of seeing the world and can be reluctant to change it, even if such a change could actually improve their situation. ‘Reframing’ is the highly skilled process of helping someone see their situation from a different, more positive and empowering perspective. For example, if someone applies for a job, is interviewed but does not get the job, they may come to the conclusion that they were not good enough for that job and may be dissuaded from applying for similar jobs in future. However, helping them to see the situation differently (that…
Dr Neil Thompson
August 4, 2025