We can look back over our past and savour the beautiful and important moments as well as learn from the not so beautiful and the not so positive experiences. Equally, we can look back and dwell on the negatives, the mistakes, the regrets. We can also look forward and consider our future, plan ahead, anticipate and look forward positively. Or, we can look to the future with dread and anxiety, fearing the worst and thereby make our current situation quite an unpleasant one. So, whether we look forward or look back, we can focus on the positives, the negatives or a mixture of the two.
But, what we have to recognise is that all this is likely to have an impact on the present, on our current circumstances. Memories form a key part of who we are and how we make sense of the world. Similarly, our future – our hopes, aspirations, fears and plans – shape (and, in turn, are shaped by) where we are up to in the present. In technical philosophical language, we are ‘temporal beings’ – that is, our present, past and future interweave in complex ways. People who tell you to ‘just live in the present moment’ are not taking account of the fact that the present moment is rooted in both the past and the future. The better we understand our past and future (as well as our present), the better we understand ourselves – and the better equipped we will be to make the most of our lives.
Another aspect of this is that we can also imagine ourselves in the future looking back over (what will then be) our past. This can be a useful exercise to do to give us a sense of perspective. It can help us to appreciate what we have got going for us and give us a clearer picture of what we want out of life. It involves thinking about our legacy, the ‘you-shaped hole’ that each of us will eventually leave at the end of our days.
This isn’t about being ‘morbid’, it’s about getting a better overview of our lives. Imagining ourselves at some point in the future looking back over our lives can give us a sense of legacy, a sense of what will be left behind when we go. This isn’t about anything grand or ambitious, medals won or honours achieved – it is about what positive difference we have made.
Can we anticipate looking back proudly on our legacy and feel satisfied with what we have contributed through our life? Or do we fear being disappointed by what we see when we look back? Either way, what can we do between now and then to make sure that we feel good about what we expect our legacy to be. It might well be helpful in shaping our sense of purpose and direction, an important part of our spirituality and therefore of our well-being.
There is no right answer to any of this; it is all about having a sense of ownership of our lives – an awareness that the future is not written in stone and that by thinking in terms of our potential legacy, we can play an important role in shaping that future and making it as positive as possible – for ourselves and for the people we care about.
Many people that I have suggested this activity to have come back to me to say they found it very helpful – not necessarily easy, especially to begin with, but useful in providing a way of envisaging how we want our lives to go and what we need to do to increase the chances of it working out that way.